…if these knightly thoughts did not monopolize all my faculties, there would be nothing I could not do, nor any handicraft I could not acquire, even so far as making bird-cages and tooth-picks. -D. Quixote

If you threw John Henry, Mark Twain, and Steve Martin into a blender, you’d come close. And make a hell of a mess of the kitchen.

Dry wit, thoughtful provocation, and irreverence, but I don’t make fun of genuinely well-meaning people. I’m a gentleman to the core, and my nature means that kids and fuzzy animals gravitate to me. Unfortunately, so do street people and the insane. Well, it’s nice to be popular.

I’m looking to build the kind of life and partnership demonstrated by a couple I saw in the grocery store. They were bantering and laughing as they shopped, making a routine errand fun together. Or, as Anne Bancroft said of her marriage to Mel Brooks: “He makes me laugh a lot. I get excited when I hear his key in the door. It’s like, ‘Ooh! The party’s going to start.’ ”

By day, I turn job searches into success stories as president of ResumeGuru.com. After 22 years of corporate storytelling, I’m fulfilling a New Year’s resolution to write and perform purely as an artist. I’m pursuing interests that bring out my best qualities, and building a habit of defaulting to the choices I haven’t tried before. I’m trying my hand at storytelling, performance, and short story writing, while my TV remains unplugged and neglected.

I have degrees in English and Anthropology from UC Berkeley, including concentrations in Folklore and Native American Literature. I’m also an armchair Mark Twain scholar; forever changed how Mr. T. relates to the media with one conversation; and for two months in 1982, was world champion of the Tron arcade game.